I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
