and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
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I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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