Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Are we still banned from the library?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
