can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
