I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
