Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
