Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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