I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
