Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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