the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
