Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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