you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
