I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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