You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I won't apologize to a one balled man
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
