I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
