last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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