How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
