There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
