I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
