Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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