So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
