My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
