would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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