we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
