margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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