No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
