alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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