I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
