is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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