forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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