youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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