Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize