Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
no, he came in my armpit
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
