no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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