Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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