Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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