She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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