they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
