hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
