Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize