I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
