so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
