Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
