it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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