Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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