Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
