it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
