let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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