Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize