If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
