just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
