You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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