My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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