I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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