Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
