Kiss
Puke
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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