Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
