An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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