we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
