she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
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I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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