we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
