Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
